Safety Coffin
by PenPatronus
Summary: COMPLETE An earthquake levels half of Manhattan a month after the events of 'Age of Ultron.' The tower is decimated, and Tony Stark is missing. When Clint, Steve, Natasha, and the new Avengers rush to help with search and rescue, they discover that the earthquake was an artificial trap to kill them all. Whump, bromance, hurt / comfort, drama, family, friendship.
1. Obstacle Course

**Summary:** An earthquake levels half of Manhattan a month after the events of 'Age of Ultron.' The tower is decimated, and Tony Stark is missing. When Clint, Steve, Natasha, and the new Avengers rush to help with search and rescue, they discover that the earthquake was an artificial trap to kill them all. Whump, hurt / comfort, drama, family, friendship. Written before 'Civil War.'

 **Safety Coffin**

PenPatronus

Chapter 1 of 4

 **Obstacle Course**

NEW AVENGERS FACILITY

UPSTATE NEW YORK

"I should probably warn you that I had the fastest time in my unit," James Rhodes said as he stepped out of the War Machine armor. "I broke the record. Twice."

Sam Wilson shrugged off the Falcon wings and tossed his goggles onto the grass. "And that was how many years ago?" he asked with a grin. "Was I in high school back then or still in diapers?"

"You're gonna piss yourself when you see how fast I am, kid." Rhodes hiked up his sweatpants and started stretching his legs. "You're gonna wish you were still wearing diapers."

Beside the two Avengers, Wanda Maximoff was trying to explain the row of parallel bars to the Vision. "Like a monkey climbing across tree limbs," she said, miming the motion. "One hand after the other."

The mind gem sparkled in the noonday sun when the Vision cocked his head to the side. "Don't children play on monkey bars?" he recalled. "Is this a playground?"

"It's an obstacle course." The four Avengers turned to see Steve Rogers emerge from the facility with Natasha Romanoff at his side. Like them, Steve and Nat wore dark, standard-issue S.H.I.E.L.D. sweatpants with gray t-shirts and sneakers.

"You call this an obstacle course?" Natasha shook her head when she saw the field. "We have all the Stark tech we want," she reminded Steve, "and you went with tires, a climbing wall, and barbed wire?"

Rogers gave her an exaggerated that-hurts-my-feelings look. "What? It's basic training."

"It's BASIC basic training," Natasha teased. "They've gone up against killer robots and RPGs and you have them climbing ropes? You could at least set up a laser grid."

Wilson elbowed Rhodey in the ribs. "Twenty. Twenty bucks says I cross finish line first."

Rhodey stood up straight. "Fifty, and you're on."

"Fifty, huh? Isn't that your age?"

"A lot has changed in seventy years, Romanoff, but the Army still trains its troops with ropes and vaults." Steve crossed his arms tight against his chest. "It's harder than it looks."

"When would I crawl through mud?" Vision asked Wanda. "WHY would I crawl through mud when I can do this?" The Vision jumped slightly and floated, hovering a foot in the air.

Wanda offered a patient smile. "I do not think that the Captain intends for us to use our powers for this."

Nat suddenly pivoted to face Steve. She squinted at the captain and said, "Oh, I get it. I'm onto you, Rogers."

He held his hands up in surrender. "What?"

"You had to do this sort of thing when you joined up. I bet it was torture for pre-serum Steve. And now…" Natasha tapped a manicured forefinger against Cap's chest. "Now, you're in charge, and part of you wants to watch other people crawl through the mud like you did."

Steve uncrossed his arms, braced his hands against his hips, and then slid his fists into his pockets. "No-oh," he said, stretching one syllable into two.

Natasha chuckled. "When are you going to let me teach you how to lie?"

"Teach me?"

"Yes, Steve. I know you think that lying is a moral defect, but it's actually a skill. A skill far more valuable than climbing monkey bars."

Rogers rolled his eyes. "You might be a good liar, Romanoff, but you're not very perceptive."

Natasha recoiled like he'd punched her. "Oh, really?"

"I did hate those obstacle courses," Steve admitted, "but you know what the difference is between me and the men who ran those drills?" Steve tugged on his shirt sleeve when Natasha shrugged. "I'll be going through the course, too."

Sam deflated at the news. "Fifty bucks says I cross the finish line…second," he said to Rhodes.

Natasha looked down at her own outfit. "I just took a shower," she sighed.

All six Avengers turned at the sound of an approaching vehicle. A rusty old pickup truck kicked up dust and gravel as it traveled towards them down the road. "So, you were saying that the obstacle course should be harder?" Steve asked Romanoff.

Natasha stood on her tiptoes to get a better look at the truck. "A holographic soldier or two would sure make it interesting."

"Would it be harder if someone was shooting arrows at us?"

The truck swerved into the grass and drove right up to their feet. Natasha didn't even try to contain her excitement when she saw who it was. She had Clint Barton in a hug before he even got one foot out the door. "Missed you, too," Clint coughed, pretending to be choked by her grip.

"Thanks for coming," Cap greeted, shaking Hawkeye's hand.

Barton shrugged. "I was getting a little bored on that tractor, anyway. Hey, you!" Clint opened his arms wide for Wanda's embrace. "I saw the news footage of that bank robbery you guys handled," Barton said. He fist-bumped Wilson. "You're a badass, man."

Sam lifted his chin high and whispered to Rhodes, "You hear that? Hawkeye called me a badass."

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "Hawkeye is gonna shoot your ass in a minute, kid."

"What did you bring?" Steve asked.

Clint opened the bed, revealing an entire arsenal of bows and arrows. "Wasn't sure if you wanted me to trip them or kill them, Cap, so I brought everything." Clint used his hand to block the sun as he examined the field. "This is your obstacle course? Are the monkey bars at least electrified?"

Natasha snickered.

"You know what, Romanoff—" Steve began.

"Whoa." Clint suddenly grabbed onto the truck for dear life. "WHOA. You feel that?"

The Vision looked at the grass. "Indeed."

Steve, Nat, Sam, Wanda, and Rhodey exchanged confused looks. "Feel what?" The ground answered Natasha's question before she finished asking it. Vibrations rippled up from the earth. Every blade of grass rippled. A brief rumbling sound preceded a crack in the building's foundation that ricocheted halfway up the outer wall. Sam crouched like a baseball catcher and braced his fingers against the ground. Wanda squealed.

The quake stopped as suddenly as it started. "Everyone all right?" Rogers asked. He studied each member of his team, checking for anything worse than wobbly knees.

Wanda paled. "That felt like when Sokovia started to fly," she whispered. Vision put a hand on her shoulder.

"I bet it was at least a 7," Rhodes commented.

Natasha scanned the obstacle course. "Some of your vaults fell apart, Steve—"

Chimes shrilled from seven pockets. Before any of them could answer their phones, a window on the top floor of the facility flew open and Maria Hill stuck her head out. "You'll want to see this!" she called. "Welcome back, Barton."

Clint and Steve exchanged worried looks. "Uh oh," the archer groaned.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. satellites are moving into position," Hill reported when the Avengers joined her in the facility's situation room. A dozen techs typed and clicked away at computer terminals. "We should have a live feed in three, two, one…"

Images materialized on the overhead screen. Every pair of eyes in the room looked up and watched as the final pixels came into focus. And then, every pair of eyes immediately looked away.

The Chitauri invasion burned Manhattan, but the earthquake flattened it.

Flattened AND burned it.

Black smoke soared out of vaguely building-shaped piles of rubble. Skyscrapers tilted at precarious angles in one direction while billboards, bridges, and street signs leaned the opposite way. Roads looked like crumpled carpets. Cars, trucks, and buses had turned over onto their sides. At the epicenter, the exact spot where the earthquake originated, squatted a wide pyramid of debris that used to be the Tower.

Steve's jaw hung open for so long that when he finally swallowed, the air felt rough against his throat. "Stark's last known location…?" Hill had already checked. Steve could tell by the look on her face. He took his phone out fast, as though unsheathing a gun. "C-Call S-Stark," he stuttered. After a calming breath he ordered, "CALL TONY!"

The phone complied. Steve paced the floor as it rang. Clint gently took Wanda by the elbow and led her to the wall, out of Rogers' way.

A familiar voice said, " _You know who I am_ …"

"Tony!" Steve gasped.

"… _so you know I won't return your call unless it's really important_ ," the recording continued. " _Make it count_!"

Steve's arm fell to his side. "Voicemail."

Natasha turned to Hill. "The Quinjet?"

"Already prepped. I'll be right behind you with reinforcements." Maria faced the techs and put her hands on her hips. "I want search and rescue teams ready in fifteen. Go!"

"Suit up," Cap ordered his team. Rhodes and Wilson sprinted down one staircase while Wanda and the Vision ascended another. Steve turned to Barton. "Clint…"

"You know you don't have to ask." Barton gestured for Natasha to follow him. "Help me with my gear."

Steve hit the re-dial button on his phone as he sprinted to his bedroom. He told himself to expect the voicemail, but still felt disappointed.

" _You know who I am_ …"

Steve stopped in the middle of the hall, pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed.

"Tony…" Dread caused Steve's entire body to feel heavier, like the gravity had somehow doubled. "Tony, I…" Cap rubbed his palm down his face, his neck, and chest. He had no clue what to say, so he just said, "Call me," and hung up.

 **To Be Continued**


	2. Reunion

**Safety Coffin**

PenPatronus

Chapter 2 of 4

 **Reunion**

MANHATTAN

NEW YORK CITY

Lights flickered beyond bruised eyelids. Smells singed his nose: burned metal, burned wood, burned flesh. Liquid splashed on his lips. Salt. Something nearby rumbled like an empty stomach. Hot wind snorted down on his face, stirred up the dust again, and he sneezed.

The sneeze activated red hot pain that shoved a scream through Tony Stark's throat. His entire body buckled, which just sent another wave of agony that originated from his left side. Each inhale felt like he was breathing shards of glass. Each exhale felt like a porcupine in his lungs. Tony rolled onto his right side and spat blood. Everything felt sharp, and looked fuzzy. The only light came from a short column of pink insulation that was burning like a candle wick. Something green vibrated in Tony's peripheral vision. He locked onto it, stared at it until his brain registered that it was one object, not three. Not an object, he realized. An arm. A green arm.

Hot wind on his neck. Not wind – breath.

More saltwater dripped. Not water – sweat.

Tony twisted onto his back and looked straight up. "Hey, pal," he coughed.

* * *

ONE HOUR BEFORE

Bruce Banner walked around the Tower three times before he approached the entrance. It was Spring in New York City, but he wore a hoodie over a wool cap to help the sunglasses disguise his face. He almost started running after he rang the doorbell. Undoubtedly Tony's security systems had been watching him for half an hour but, somehow, the doorbell felt…final. He'd committed. Committed to returning to the team.

The door opened. Tony Stark stood in the threshold wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, and chewing on a green apple. "Honey, I'm home," Bruce said. Tony merely blinked, took a bite of his apple, and blinked again. Bruce simultaneously sighed and rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised that YOU are not surprised to see me?"

"What kind of inventor would I be if I didn't know how to get through my own stealth technology? And what kind of friend would I be if my satellites weren't tracking your every move?" Tony grinned. "How was Fiji?"

"Hot." Bruce opened his mouth to say more, but Tony suddenly sprung forward and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

"Welcome home," Stark said. He squeezed his friend hard, then stepped out of Bruce's personal space, held the man at arm's length, and looked him over. "We've been worried about you," he said softly.

Bruce snorted. "Didn't you just say something about satellites?"

Tony shrugged. "I knew you were alive. But that was all I knew. It wasn't enough to keep me from worrying. Us—to keep us from worrying."

Bruce licked his lips and dropped his eyes to the floor. "I saw the news. I heard about Pietro. Everyone else…They're all ok, right? After…after Ultron?" Bruce folded his arms tight against his stomach and took half a step backwards. "Is Natasha…"

"We're good. She's good." Tony stepped aside and motioned for Bruce to come in. "Barton had a baby. Steve's training the new recruits. They stopped a bank robbery. It was pretty badass." When Bruce didn't make move to enter the building, Tony shuffled back into the door frame. "She told me what happened. Natasha told me everything. You needed some space, some time. I get that."

Bruce ripped off his hat and sunglasses and stuffed them into his coat pocket. "No, you don't," he snapped, sounding harsher than he intended. He took a beat, and an extra breath before he spoke again. "Sorry. And I'm sorry I left – the Hulk left – I'm sorry we left."

Tony studied his friend. He didn't speak.

"I left before the job was done, and I'm sorry," Bruce managed. He looked everywhere but at Tony. "I left when Ultron was still alive — more or less — when you and Thor were still in danger. If you'd died because I wasn't still there to help…" Bruce scrubbed both hands through his thinning hair.

"You know what I'm going to say." Slightly frustrated that Bruce still wasn't inside the Tower, Tony walked out into the sunlight and shut the door behind him. He faced Bruce and waited a solid sixty seconds before the other man finally made eye contact. "I'm ok. We're all ok. Ultron's gone – eliminated. Deleted. And I'm the one who's sorry." Tony held up his hands and shook his head when Bruce started to protest. "Ultron was my idea. Ultron was my fault. Don't interrupt me, buddy, I've been practicing this speech in the mirror for a month…" Stark wrung his hands and then buried them deep in his pants pockets. "Ultron was my fault. And I should've kept a closer eye on you when we went after Klaus. And I should've built a better Veronica and…" Tony spread his hands, exasperated. "And I'm glad you're home. You hear me? I'm just glad you're home."

Bruce glanced up at the towering structure. "Have you been inventing without me?"

"Of course," Tony scoffed, "but it wasn't half as fun. Come on."

Tony opened the door again. He put his arm around Bruce's shoulder and led him inside.

The second that the door shut behind them, the earthquake hit.

* * *

PRESENT

The Hulk, on all fours like a dog, had tented his body over Tony's. Every visible muscle twitched and every pore leaked sweat. His brow was furrowed even more caveman-like than usual. Above him, tons of brick, cement, and metal threatened to crush the pair. Bits of debris rolled off of trembling green shoulders and various chemicals slid down shaking arms. Brown eyes – Bruce Banner's eyes – were wet, afraid, regretful. Tony marveled at the emotion in them. He'd glimpsed Bruce behind that green monster before but, for once, there was more Banner there than Hulk.

"Buddy," Tony whispered, "are you all right? Nod if you're all right." Hulk moved his head barely an inch, and a pile of ashes and one slightly intact table leg showered down.

"Bad idea, my bad," Stark sputtered through a mouthful of dirt. "Give me one grunt for 'yes,' two for 'no,' ok?"

The sound that escaped the Hulk's throat was more of a mewl than a grunt. Something above them shifted, and Hulk ground his tombstone-teeth together and slammed his eyes shut with effort. Tony spotted the pulse point thundering in his throat.

A new sound. Wailing. It took Stark a minute to place it. "Help's coming," he whispered. "You hear that firetruck? We need to figure out how to tell them where we are so that they can dig us out. Are we in the same place? Did we drop down into the basement or did the tower just collapse on top of us? Maybe the buzzer for the door is down here with us. What can make noise – noise to tell them that we're alive, like the bell for a safety coffin!"

Hulk grunted through his teeth three times, and glowered at Tony.

"Right, sorry, yes-or-no questions," Stark remembered. His spine was on something sharp and he tried to shift his weight without moving the left side of his body. At least one rib was cracked and his left arm was fractured. A darkness settled in both corners of his left eye, and both corners of his right. Unconsciousness wasn't far away… "I remember stepping through the door. That's the last thing I remember. Do you remember that?"

Sweat pooled in the half-moons beneath the Hulk's eyes. He grunted once.

"It felt like an earthquake. Was there an earthquake?"

'Yes,' the Hulk grunted.

"Big earthquake…" Tony muttered. The darkness attacked and his eyes almost slid shut. Luckily (or unluckily), the throbbing pain in his arm woke him back up. "Big earthquake the second you come home? That's a hell of a coincidence."

More darkness. Stark blinked in slow-motion.

The Hulk's nostrils flared. "Tone…" he growled. "Tone-y…" Green blood trickled down his back, across his ribs, and onto Tony's shirt.

"I'm here, big guy," Stark whispered. "Thinking…That's what I do…I'm thinking…Think with me, think about coincidences…If it wasn't coincidence, then it was design. It was by design. An artificial earthquake. Somebody made an earthquake. Why? Why now? Why here? And…" Both eyes closed. Both eyes STAYED closed. "How…"

Louder sirens. Voices beyond the walls. The light dimmed as the fire ate up the rest of the insulation.

"Tony," Hulk begged.

Stark's eyes stayed shut. His body stayed limp. He didn't even flinch when a glob of green blood landed on his cheek. "An artificial earthquake triggered when you walked in…Maybe when another Avenger crossed the threshold? This is the first time since Ultron that two members of the team have been in the Tower at once," Tony whispered. The wheels in his head kept spinning for as long as they could.

The Hulk's knees and elbows wobbled. Some percentage of his energy got used up, and he dropped an inch. Tons of rubble dropped an inch closer to Tony's fragile body.

"Tony!"

"Bruce…" Tony's voice was less than a whisper. "Don't feel good…"

"TONY!" the Hulk roared. His left knee snapped – snapped like kindling – and he crumpled.

 **To Be Continued**


	3. Abandon Ship

**Safety Coffin**

PenPatronus

Chapter 3 of 4

 **Abandon Ship**

Steve Rogers re-dialed for the sixth time. "Answer," he growled into the phone.

" _You know who I am_ …"

Steve slammed his fist into the Quinjet's rear hatch (and left an indentation behind). "Why aren't you answering the telephone?" he demanded. "I'm so mad at you right now I can't see straight!"

"Cap!" Barton called from the cockpit. "Come look."

Steve pocketed his cell, squeezed past his teammates, and peered down through the window. Manhattan was louder than ever. Helicopters, ambulances, firetrucks, cop cars and every other rescue vehicle in the state zipped around the city. Bright, beautiful sunlight on the spring day made the grotesque destruction even starker. One leg of a fifteen-foot tall letter 'A' poked like a shipwreck out of the debris that used to be the Tower.

"There's no safe place to land," Clint commented as he scanned the streets.

"Slender Man, Tweety Bird, and I can ferry the team," Rhodes said, nodding at Vision and Falcon.

Natasha suddenly sat up straight in the co-pilot's seat. "Did you see that?" she gasped.

Wanda leaned over her shoulder. "I thought I saw something moving in the clouds."

"There!" Sam pointed west. "It's small. Is that…is that a suit?"

Rhodey stretched up on his tiptoes to see past Cap's head. A flash of red zipped by. "That's him! That's Iron Man! Tony's alive!"

Clint flipped a switch to activate the jet's com system. "Stark! It's us, we're on your three, over!"

Static. Natasha turned on the radar and found nothing. "Where did he go?"

Barton bit his bottom lip. "Tony?" he called.

Natasha scanned the skies. "Nothing," she said softer than she intended.

"He must have activated the stealth technology," said the Vision.

"Why would Tony ignore us?" Clint wondered.

"Tony Stark is dead," a slimy, slippery, robotic voice announced over the coms. "And you're about to join him in his grave."

Wanda squeaked and plastered her hands across her mouth. " _Ultron_."

"That's impossible," Steve muttered. "We ended him." He looked at the Vision, but before any of them could think another thought, a repulsor blast suddenly rocked the ship, sending half of the group rolling across the floor.

"SHIT!" Barton sputtered. "Nat, what direction did that come from?"

Natasha wrapped one gloved hand around the safety belt across her body. "I didn't see! And we can't track that suit in stealth mode!"

The War Machine mask slammed down across Rhodes' face. "Open the hatch!" Natasha obeyed, and the rear flap folded outwards. A second before Rhodes and Wilson stepped outside, another shot sent the Quinjet into a tailspin. Barton got the ship back under control but not before several fires erupted, and one of the engines sputtered to a stop.

Clint struggled to zigzag around more shots while keeping the plane level. "Get out of here!" he hollered. "Rhodes, help her!"

"Wait—!" Before Natasha could fight back, Rhodey yanked her off of her seat and flew out. The Vision grabbed a teary-eyed Wanda, and Sam picked up Steve. "I'll be back for you!" Wilson called just before he leapt out of the ship.

"Take your time," Clint quipped between clenched teeth. "This is fun for me…" Smoke made his eyes water, but it didn't impact his vision enough to keep him from locking onto the red figure that zoomed off starboard. Barton fired, but the suit zipped away. Clint pursued, firing everything the ship had to keep the armor away from the evacuees. "Dammit," Hawkeye cursed when another blast sent the ship spinning. He lost track of which way was up, which was down, and abandoned the controls. With one slice of the knife from his pocket, Barton slid out of the seat, grabbed the nearest bow and arrows, held onto the weapons for dear life and let his body roll. A final hit sent the Quinjet into a somersault. The jet did a cartwheel, and Barton tumbled out through the hatch barely three seconds before it slammed into the already tilting side of a skyscraper.

Tractor's not so boring now, Clint thought as his body sailed through the air on the outskirts of a fireball. Gravity kicked in, kicked down, and Hawkeye hurled towards the debris. Clint pictured his children's faces, and shut his eyes.

For a second he thought that the heat around him was another laser from Ultron, but instead of bursting every cell in his body, it wrapped around it, cradled it. Clint opened his eyes to find that the world was red – a bright scarlet light had enveloped it. He blinked, squinted, and then looked down to see that he was floating now instead of falling. Wanda's magic cocooned him so gently, and lowered him so softly that it felt like standing on an escalator. Clint relaxed so much in her grip that when he finally landed on top of the debris, his legs buckled as if they'd fallen asleep.

"Whoa," Barton muttered when Steve and Wanda rushed to his side. "You're, uh, better at that," he told her.

Wanda nearly knocked him over with her hug. "I couldn't let you die," she sobbed against his neck, "not when Pietro died for you…"

"I'm all right," Clint assured her. He smoothed down her hair like he would do with his daughter's. "You were amazing."

Steve picked up the bow and arrows and tugged on Barton's elbow. "We need to get out of sight."

"We need to take down that suit," Clint argued. "Ultron…How did he do it? Did he do this?" Barton wondered, gesturing at the broken 'A' twenty feet away.

"We can ask Tony when we find him," Steve said in a voice that shut down any questions.

"Steve!" The three Avengers whirled around at the sound of the Black Widow's voice. She and the others stood on the other side of the 'A,' waving. Barton, Rogers, and Wanda climbed over the ruins. When they were all standing on the same slab of steel, the creaking started.

Suddenly, the slab shifted like a surfboard on a wave. The Avengers scurried away as the creaks turned to squeaks, and the entire field of debris started to slide. Seconds after they reached the relative safety of the street, a section the size of a McDonald's crumpled downwards.

Something green burst out of the hole like boiling water from a geyser. It shook the ground when it landed, and rolled across the remaining debris. The opposite of a snowball, which increases in size as it rolls, the green ball of limbs seemed to shrink as it tumbled head over heels. Two men rolled to a stop at Steve's toes – a very dirty Bruce Banner cradling a very pale, blood-spattered Tony Stark. For a moment – barely a second of time – everyone stared, slack jawed, as the two men lay on their backs staring up at Cap with shocked eyes.

Stark blinked, frowned at the group, and croaked, "Banner's home…"

Red burst through the smoke hovering around the tower. "All of you? Even better!" the Iron Man suit announced with Ultron's voice.

Tony looked at the sky. "Son of a bitch. That's the suit I wore in Sokovia. That son of a bitch downloaded a piece of himself into my system."

"This was his backup plan?" Steve wondered.

Bruce's arms trembled as he sat up. "You…didn't…check?" he gasped. "What about the Safety Coffin program?"

"Coffin?" Rhodes asked what everyone else was thinking.

"A program that was supposed to warn me if Ultron still existed. I should've been alerted if he was still operational. I checked – I sent the program through everything but my own damn suit. It's like looking everywhere for your car keys and finding them in your pocket," Tony whispered. He held out his right hand. Steve took it, and helped him stand. "He was just sitting in my armory, waiting for the right moment to attack…"

"I couldn't destroy this planet by dropping a meteor on it," Ultron called down at them, "so I'll shake it apart from below. If I vibrate the Tower's arc reactor power fast enough, I can shake the entire earth apart!"

"That's one hell of an earthquake," Natasha whispered.

"And he wanted us to have front row seats," murmured Steve.

Tony only stood on his feet because Steve held him there. "Guys, you have to get me that suit," he told the team. "Bring it to me, but don't destroy it."

Ultron cackled. "One more minute and the reactor will be ready! One minute, Avengers. What do you say we keep busy to make the time go by fast?"

A flap opened on the armor's shoulder and a missile the size of a man's forearm shot towards them. Wanda spread her arms like a bird's wings, and though the shield of red energy blocked most of the blast, it couldn't protect them from all of it.

 **To Be Continued**


	4. Obliviate

**Safety Coffin**

PenPatronus

Chapter 4 of 4

 **Obliviate**

It hurt to laugh, but Natasha let it ride anyway. The world was ending and she was flat on her back in the mud, next to a rubber tire, staring up at a twisted metal ladder that reminded her of the monkey bars. Maybe Steve's obstacle course wasn't so misguided after all…

Someone took her hand. Warm fingers interlaced with hers, and squeezed. "Bruce."

Banner was little more than a corpse. Saving Tony had drained every calorie of energy that existed in the Hulk. The husk in its wake crawled to Natasha's side and held her. "You bumped your head," Bruce whispered. "Hold on."

Natasha felt the blood in her hair. A pair of black arrows soared past them and she watched them fly into Ultron's neck. "Forty seconds," she whispered.

"It's up to Tony, now." Bruce's Adam's apple traveled his throat. "I was going to send you a postcard from Fiji," he whispered.

She smiled at him. "I'd rather have a kiss."

He grinned, said "Me, too," and lowered his lips to hers.

* * *

Steve shoved Tony to the ground and used his shield to block the repulsor blast. The force of it tripped him up, and Cap steamrolled over Wanda's prone body. Clint shouted, and Steve lifted the shield just in time to block another shot. He angled this laser blast back at Ultron, which distracted the AI long enough for Falcon, War Machine, and the Vision to get above and behind him. As one they tackled the armor into the dirt.

"Twenty seconds!" Tony called to them. "Get the helmet!"

Barton and Rogers stampeded forward and joined the dogpile. The combined weight of all five of them kept Ultron on the ground, but couldn't keep him still. "You're too late!" the robot mocked. "There's no stopping it now."

Tony summoned his energy – only enough to rise onto one knee. "Cap!"

"You're too late!" Ultron hissed.

Below them all, the ground started to shake. The remaining visible inches of the 'A' sunk into the giant grave.

Steve reared up, held the shield with both hands and, with a yell, slammed the blunt side down on the armor's neck, decapitating it. Clint dove forward and snatched up the helmet like it was a fumbled football. "Stark, catch!"

Barton launched the helmet into the air. Tony caught it with both hands and in a single smooth motion, yanked it down over his face. The countdown on the HUD read '10 seconds.' "F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Stark Industries destruct sequence alpha-one!"

"Iris scan and voice print acknowledged," the computer confirmed. "Enable self-destruct?"

'5 seconds.'

"OBLIVIATE!" Tony shouted.

4…

3…

2…

1…

"Confirmed," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said in a chipper voice a quarter of a second before the HUD went dark.

Tony ripped off the helmet and looked at Cap.

A final rumble trembled the ground between them, and then the earth stopped shaking.

The decapitated armor froze.

Their earwigs went silent.

With a "Whoa…What?" Rhodes fell onto his back like a dead tree and the War Machine armor came apart at the seams. Rhodey sat up in the wreckage and glared, dumbfounded, Stark. "What the hell did you do?" he asked.

Tony stared at the dead Iron Man mask in his hands. "I, uh, I just erased Stark Industries," he explained. "Every piece of Stark tech on the planet just shut down – including the arc reactor beneath us."

Rhodey poked the dead metal that used to be War Machine's elbow. "Everything?"

"Everything's gone. The company no longer exists. No suits. No planes. No cars… No jobs, satellites, real estate, stock… No Tony Stark."

Rhodey blinked. "No money?"

Stark shrugged. "I stuffed a few twenties in my…" Tony looked down and around at the dust and ashes that remained of the Tower, and chuckled. "In my mattress…" He sighed and lay down on his right side as the pain in his left threatened to overwhelm him. "Cap, I don't suppose you could lend me a few bucks?"

* * *

THREE DAYS LATER

"Would you cut it out already?" Steve groaned. He uncrossed his ankles, sat up in the chair and pushed away from the hospital bed. "It's not THAT entertaining."

"Shhh, shhh, this is my favorite one," Tony Stark shushed. He hit the speaker command on his cell phone and held it up for Cap to hear. "So mad that you can't see straight? What does that even mean?"

"Right now I'm that mad, but that doesn't mean I can't punch you!" Steve snarled.

"You thought I was dead, you called me over and over, and you left me increasingly angry messages," Stark said. "You won't punch me. You love me too much. This," he said, pointing at the recording repeating from the phone, "is the sound of somebody who loves me!"

"I wish you were never born," Steve said angrily, but with a smile that showed off every tooth.

Knocks on the door. Bruce and Clint filed in. "She's fine," both men said simultaneously when the other two opened their mouths to ask about Natasha. They looked at each other, each sizing the other man up, and then chuckled. "Wanda woke up, too," Clint reported. He patted Tony's arm and sat on the side of the bed. "And when are you going to stop lounging around here and help us rebuild Manhattan?"

"A building fell on me!" Stark protested. When Barton rolled his eyes, Tony shifted his attention to Banner. "You double-checked everywhere, right? Ultron's gone for good, right?"

Bruce nodded. "I wrote a new Safety Coffin program. Just in case. And just on the S.H.I.E.L.D. servers since my Stark Industries password didn't work because the company intranet no longer EXISTS."

"Yeah, I thought you were exaggerating about deleting Stark tech but none of my SMART arrows work anymore," said Hawkeye.

"And I need a new phone," said Steve. "So that I can leave you more angry messages."

"So sorry that saving the world inconvenienced you," Stark quipped. "And it's not all bad. Haven't any of you checked your personal bank accounts in the past 72 hours? Barton, you might as well have some more kids because you'll be able to send yours to college ten times over. Bruce, you can buy an island where the Hulk can go cranky to his little green heart's content. And you, Rogers, can now easily afford a home in Brooklyn. You could buy all of Brooklyn, actually."

Steve folded his fist underneath his chin. "You're not sleeping on my couch."

"I'm homeless!" Tony rolled his eyes. "And I need a job."

"You want to join S.H.I.E.L.D.? Officially? Work under Nat and I?"

Tony looked at his teammates. "If Barton and Banner are back in, then, yes."

"I'm so sick of that tractor…" Barton muttered.

Steve tried and failed to hide a smile. "If you're going to be on my new team," he said, "first you have to go through one hell of an obstacle course."

 **The End**

 **Author's Notes:** What Avengers story should I write next? I'm not making any promises that I'll use your idea, but I'm open to suggestions. (Note: I'm into bromance, not slash.) Send them with your review! -PenPatronus


End file.
